Hi, I’m Jay!

I just couldn't ever really get into blur. If I want droll sneering Brits I’d rather listen to Television Personalities.

When it's jacket weather and the book you're reading fits in your jacket pocket ❤️

I also initially cringed at that Apple "Crush!" ad, but I take the message not to be "Society doesn't need these anymore," but "Look how much we fit in here! (And, unrelatedly, crushing stuff looks cool.)"

Still, probably an unwise visual.

Apple lists two Mastodon apps and zero Twitter, Meta, or Bluesky apps in their "Essential Social Apps" App Store story: https://apps.apple.com/us/story/id1681937659

The fifth minute of "Funeral For a Friend" could go on forever and it wouldn't be long enough.

I saw a box at Whole Foods that said “USB Salt Lamp.”

Imagine being told in 1994 that everybody in 2024 can immediately picture this.

"The thinnest Apple product ever"? Are they forgetting about the Polishing Cloth? #AppleEvent

When is the last time the word "iPod" was uttered at an #AppleEvent? "One more thing"???

Still no FaceID on the iPad Air #AppleEvent

I can barely understand how to use Drafts these days. I wish there were more labels everywhere and I could disable half the features.

"See? People use the Vision Pro, I swear!" #AppleEvent

If the new Pencil is compatible with my iPad, I'm buying it.

Here’s a new half-baked hypothesis: the reason people watch so much cable news is that it’s one of the few things on TV that’s broadcast live.

It's funny when automated phone services are like, "Representatives are busy serving other customers. Would you like to try our automated menu?"

Friend, I would sooner listen to Opus No. 1 for sixteen hours than use an automated menu.

Chris Onstad (#Achewood) wrote a novel!

https://www.patreon.com/posts/103652980

I think often when people complain about what gets printed in newspapers it’s because they don’t understand what newspapers are for.

Tired: Wired

Wired: Wireless

Don’t see Immaculate.

One thing that's great about the radio is that you can have multi-room audio with zero latency.

#A24 has become a lifestyle brand. You use their marble-colored 180g vinyl and in-joke corduroy hats or whatever to telegraph that you are that type of person.

I don't think I use any of the social, automation, or integration features of #Pinboard anymore, and the site and app ecosystem has languished for so long. Is it time to switch to #GoodLinks?

I just heard the term "rightsizing" for the first time and I am white-hot with rage

I'm an earnest Bluey fan via my nephews and just subscribed to Disney+ to check out this new episode everyone is talking about

As far as I can tell, the best Kindle you can buy today is still using EInk technology that is over ten years old. I don't care about color, but when can we expect some more improvements to contrast?

It sounds like the Humane AI Pin is worse than Siri, which is no small feat.

The impulse to actually turn the premise of “Civil War” into a movie seems so juvenile to me. It's like an idea you'd have stoned in a college dorm room. "It's gonna make people think, man!!"

The title is terrible and lazy, too.

Anybody have any ideas on how to import Mastodon posts into #WordPress?

(To be clear I'm not talking about enabling ActivityPub on WordPress.)

I've never related to Trump as much as I do about his falling asleep in court. I remember sitting quietly in lecture halls in college, and no matter how interesting the subject, nothing could put me to sleep faster than that. I would have been out in seven minutes.

I’d love to try playing the SegaCD Bram Stoker’s Dracula game again

It could be cool if there were a "CSS Zen Garden" that worked strictly with custom props.

Q: Why do people watch golf on TV?

A: Because listening on the radio would *really* be boring

I would love a weekly half-hour movie critic TV show like Siskel & Ebert again, does anything like this exist on YouTube or podcasts?

I want a “couch to 5k” but for hot sauce.

The issue isn’t that people get their news from social media, it’s that people get their news from MEMES on social media.

When I see posts about Gemini, the Google LLM, I initially think they’re about Gemini, the protocol. Fans of the protocol must be bummed out by this naming.

What's so weird about Musk's obsession with turning "X" into "the WeChat of the West" is that it's such a boring idea.

However involved he may or may not be in the development of rockets and brain motor implants and electric cars, and however truly "self-driving" those cars may be -- those are exciting things!

But being passionate about building an app that lets you, like...post videos and buy stuff and send money or whatever? Who is excited by this?

Does #DuckDuckGo’s pro plan remove ads from search results? If so I might switch from Kagi.

The DDG ads are a big part of the reason I use Kagi (even if DDG ads don’t track me).

If the glove's the wrong size, you must metastasize

It's crazy to think about the ripple effects the OJ trial had -- Norm Macdonald's career, "the dancing Itos," the Kardashians, Seinfeld.

I finally left Bank of America and moved my checking to a local mutual bank, feels good.

Wait, *Steve Coogan* is in the new Joker? I guess I am going to see it after all

Who else remembers the breathless hype that ensued after that Clap Your Hands record came out in 2005

An eclipse seems like a great time to commit some break-ins

Can’t wait till this #eclipse is over so I can look at the sun again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF-_Sh9u30Y

I'd love a Tweetdeck-like frontend for Mastodon that lets you save a "set" of columns you've set up for easy retrieval/switching.

Say I'm really into the NFL and every week I want columns for my home team's tags and some sports writers, but not on non-game days.

Is there a simple ActivityPub bot you can set up that boosts a specified list of accounts?

This would be like “following” a list on the bad site.

Meteorologists are always getting it wrong, I bet we don’t even get an eclipse today

More bars should have couches

This is fascinating stuff. Check out the full proposal linked from this FEP.
https://tech.lgbt/@laxla/112229524748141528

It would be like learning that people in Idaho get a bill for tens of thousands of dollars after the fire department extinguishes their house.

I remember a Brit on a forum telling me about the first time he learned as a kid that Americans had to pay for healthcare and it blowing his mind, I think maybe he was seeing a movie where someone had to steal money to pay for an operation.

I had never imagined what that experience must be like and how insane it must sound if you’re just hearing about it.

New Jessica Pratt

https://jessicapratt.bandcamp.com/album/here-in-the-pitch

Anybody else notice that trailers have their own trailers now?

They all start with a rapid super-cut of the trailer and then the words "Trailer starts now."

I know it starts now! I just hit play!!

mas.to, the sixth-largest Mastodon instance, is considering un-suspending (but still limiting) Threads.
https://mas.to/@trumpet/112212160964939807

The "listen to this entire thing without grimacing” challenge

When this first came out I didn't get beyond the first 30 seconds or so.

Listening to it now, and knowing it was written by a person, it's extremely embarrassing to hear someone try to write new George Carlin material.

Hahahahaha wow I completely missed that the "AI George Carlin special" was written by humans:

https://arstechnica.com/ai/2024/01/george-carlins-heirs-sue-comedy-podcast-over-ai-generated-impression/

Apple ought to remove App Store ads for Apple One subscribers.

“But everyone said it didn’t matter which instance I joined.”

The messaging on Mastodon needs to be a lot clearer.

“You cannot view this profile because your Mastodon server, example dot com, has suspended the example dot net domain.”

And people say Mastodon isn’t confusing 🙄

If you search Mastodon for “threads.net” you’ll see a bunch of people wondering why they can’t see President Biden’s account, unaware that they are on an instance that did a full suspend on the threads.net domain.

A tip for fellow old people, if you don’t recognize a celebrity name, they were probably in Euphoria

It feels like older news than it should at this point, but it’s wild that I can follow users of a Facebook-owned social network from a small cooperative Mastodon server through the indie app Ivory.

I watched some “The Mads Are Back” last night and it’s way funnier than RiffTrax in my opinion. I love Trace and Frank so much.

One of the small but brilliant things about the Mac for the last 40 years is the way a menu item blinks after you click it, to reinforce which item received the click. Windows didn’t have this. You probably don’t think about it.

It’s an affordance like this that demonstrates the care that went into the UI.

It’s the kind of thing people would be too lazy or thoughtless to do today, and it’s the kind of thing I could see Apple killing because they forgot how important stuff like this is.

Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I’m into slickly produced pablum!

I haven’t heard anybody mention how weirdly sexist it is that #Pitchfork is being folded into “Gentleman’s Quarterly.”

lol, not gonna fool me with this one!! discord is known for perfect ux and wouldn't clutter up their app with stuff like this

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/04/discord-starts-down-the-dangerous-road-of-ads-this-week

I know this will upset a lot of people, but the truth shouldn't need a content warning:

Spring might be better than fall.

I have a suggestion that I’m not entirely pleased with but I’m waiting to see if anyone else says it first.

If they made Back to the Future today (heaven forbid), what car model would the time machine be?

“New” Gastr del Sol!!

https://gastrdelsol.bandcamp.com/album/we-have-dozens-of-titles

New Chastity Belt!

https://chastity-belt.bandcamp.com/album/live-laugh-love

This whole song was generated from the prompt: “solo acoustic Mississippi Delta blues about a sad AI.”

https://soundcloud.com/rs-539916550/soul-of-the-machine

So many “hazy IPAs” kind of taste like someone took their regular IPA and added a few pumps of “hazy-flavored” syrup to it.

https://mastodon.social/@pixelfed/112138024510274956

Just learned from Drag City that Joanna Newsom's "The Milk-Eyed Mender” has just turned 20. Easily one of the greatest records of the last quarter century.

Wait Saltburn stars that kid from Killing of a Sacred Deer??

Elon is rattling off ideas for Twitter like it’s Calvinball

Every thought Elon has is an r/showerthought that he thinks is a TED Talk

Elon has the misplaced arrogance of a “gifted” 7th grader who thinks big problems aren’t hard to solve at all, actually, and would have been solved long ago if only people were as bright as him

Monoculture https://www.billboard.com/music/chart-beat/taylor-swift-all-hot-100-top-10-anti-hero-1235163664/

One simple thing Elon could do to immediately make Twitter better is to turn RSS back on

If the nascent metaverse is analogous to the nascent internet, does Mark Zuckerberg think Meta is AOL or Netscape?

I’m worried about putting all our eggs in Bandcamp’s basket. I love what it’s done for music, but in ten years a LOT of embedded audio players just won’t work anymore.

an art heist movie where a team pulls off a 51% attack

One of the great comforting things about a Bose Wave CD player is that the words on the glowing display are in Gill Sans

A good trick if you're logging into multiple similar WordPress environments (dev/staging/prod): Change the Admin Color Scheme for each one so you can easily tell which one you're in.

the mac touchbar could be offering to refill my coffee and i wouldn't know it because i never look at the keyboard

Whenever possible, show up with a box of donuts

We don’t talk enough about this Randy Newman impression that always felt bizarre in the middle of a teen comedy

https://youtu.be/qWzZOPqM8QM

all movies should be exactly an hour and forty five minutes

If you still subscribe to @DVDNetflix, nothing ever “leaves Netflix”

matrix resurrections is seriously taking advantage of my weakness for "white rabbit"

I knew it was only a matter of time before Twitter changed their timeline design so that "open for a surprise" tweets wouldn't make sense anymore

https://twitter.com/TwitterSupport/status/1390035323862896643

I want a supercut of every time a small mammal jumped and latched onto somebody’s face in a 1995-2005 comedy, it would be like an hour long

If Trump just called into Tucker Carlson for five minutes every Monday night urging people that getting vaccinated is the patriotic thing to do, COVID in the U.S. would be over.

Ted Lasso follows in the grand tradition of characters invented for commercials carrying their own series, its foundation laid by Ernest P. Worrel

Testing out a quick photo thing here

I love vegan leather, so nice to know there’s no eggs or dairy in there

It’s 2021 and I just bought a TiVo

please stop naming moons

Soon all these Cooper Light/Souvenir/Recoleta/Clearface/Windsor fonts are going to go WAY out of style, and quickly, don’t get caught flat-footed on this

Why does everybody use any excuse to say “kraken” these days? When did this kraken obsession start

In general I’m a Spatial Audio optimist, but wow does Sgt Pepper sound bad in it

If you search Lycos for “lycos,” you get an error page.

If you search Lycos for “google,” it says “There were no results for your search query. Maybe you accidentally invented a new word?”

Searching Lycos for “bing” works fine.

Everybody knows “web 2.0 badges” were a thing, but now for the life of me I can’t remember where I actually saw them

Is this a podcast or is it just somebody slowly reading an article over a trip hop record

MATTY IN THE MORNING, MATTY IN THE EVENING, MATTY AT SUPPERTIME

How can @SubstackInc URLs be 459 characters long

The vocal hook from “Immigrant Song” is just the “Get Smart” theme

There’ve been a lot of short-lived sitcoms, I know, but I don’t think I’ve seen a single reference to “Double Rush” since watching it in the mid-90s. It’s like I dreamed it.

I’m a high-res/lossless skeptic; but is it possible that despite failing all ABX tests we somehow *unconsciously* experience high-res music differently?

The worst homework you ever did was the homework between The Simpsons and going to sleep

Sorry, watching Howard The Duck at 3 am is decidedly NOT “wasting your life”

The handlebar-mustache-on-a-stick industry was really hurting in 2008, till some genius created wedding photo booths

It's crazy that this deep into the 21st century there isn't a train that can take me from Boston to Philly in 2 hours, or to New York in an hour.

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/amtrak-america-moment-50-years/index.html

I remember when “trigger warnings” were just called “discretion advised” and nobody thought it was the fall of Western civilization

Schiller's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by courage."

Tucker Carlson trading R Stevie Moore cassettes on Discogs

Tucker Carlson mouthing the words to “House Arrest” under a big pair of Beats headphones during commercial breaks

How the hell do you pronounce bongino anyway

I don't get why Donald Trump doesn't just run 11ty on a Linode instance

Boy I wish all these substacks were just blogs

The least credible part of Home Alone is that Kevin continues to dress himself in adorable and festive but no doubt tight and itchy clothing

There is no way Snoopy won that Neighborhood Christmas Lights and Display Contest

Shouldn’t it be “Bene Kalikimaka”

Bad books are the worst of all media. Far, far worse than bad TV.

“Sorry, we don’t have Pfizer; is Moderna ok?”

Trump: “WIDESPREAD MASSIVE RIGGED VOTER FRAUD”

Lawsuits: “Observers were 20 feet away instead of 6 feet away for 15 minutes”

Courts: “lol”

Whenever anybody’s describing terrain in a book I can’t even remotely picture it

It's wild when people claim to know with certainty what political outcomes would occur in a universe with a dozen or more variables changed; if this person had been nominated, if that person had said more of X and less of Y, if the New York Times or Breitbart or Facebook had or hadn't done Z. Nobody knows anything.

The candy nobody wants

Hoping to cram something into my brain other than this election in the next 24 hours of my downtime

I love “bootleg” stop signs

Nowhere in "Humpty Dumpty" does it say he's an egg

I miss being bored.

Two things I did not anticipate about wearing a mask are (a) Face ID doesn't work, and (b) you can't do the "slight smile" thing at strangers as you walk past them or get out of each other's way in the supermarket. "Mask face" just looks generally peeved I think.

I know there more important things going on right now, and I hope everybody is staying safe out there -- but the radio commercial Flo is different from the one on TV. Thanks

I wish there were something as reliable and popular as Zoom that weren't Zoom.

This should create a webmention at this post

“Rambo” was short for “Rambunctious”

Hair was big in the 90s?

At my funeral, I want somebody to read my favorite poem. My favorite poem is “The Iliad.”